Thursday, January 7, 2010

Why I Want This: Storing Motivation for Future Inspiration

I had never seen Fat Fighter TV but Lynn of Lynn's Weigh linked to an article about her there so I checked it out. And, lucky me, I found another gem of a quote from Lynn--something that I thought was worth acting on.
"You’ve gotta have that solid foundation of why you want to do this in the first place so that when you do start feeling like ‘I can’t do this anymore’ or ‘I don’t want to do this,’ you can look back. I really strongly urge journaling before you start to lose weight – figure out why you want this – then you’ll have something to look at." --Lynn Haraldson-Bering
I think this could be true for a lot of things that take time and commitment and revision and endurance. But for me that thing is the same as Lynn's--losing weight. And I'm feeling all gung ho right now so it seems like a good time to log my reasons for wanting to do this.

This year I want to stick with my goals to eat mindfully, healthfully, and moderately and to exercise progressively, positively, and variedly because I like feeling good about myself and I want to move past this weight obstacle that has blocked me all my life. I want to make these things part of my history and not my present:
  • Not being able to sit on the floor, get in the tub, use a mat in the gym, or sit at the edge of the pool without dropping
  • Not being able to get up from any of those positions without a lot of inglorious and unglamorous and downright humiliating moves--rolling awkwardly to my side, painfully to my knees, pressing up on something with my hands and slowly struggling up
  • Having my arm go dead when I leave it hanging down for any length of time and when I sleep and tingling when I do water aerobics
  • Being worried about going to get new gym shoes for fear I won't be able to get to my feet easily to put them on in the store; having to pull my leg up to my knee by pulling on my pant's leg.
  • Having the stupid slat fall out of the bed when I feel like I barely move
  • Having more clothes in the house that are too small for me than I can currently wear
  • Using food to further isolate me and push me deeper into a depression
  • Having my feet hurt alot of the time and being very limited in what shoes I want to wear
  • Seeing my reflection in the elevator with peers and recognizing that I am twice as broad as any of them
  • Weighing more than a pro football player
  • Hating what I see in pictures; being reluctant to take pictures with people I love like my grandkids and feeling ashamed to give them pictures of me; not showing pics to old friends
  • Feeling embarrassed to present myself as a director at a healthcare company; feeling like a fraud sharing the facts I know but don't model
  • Joke about myself, my weight, and appearance to reduce my self-consciousness
  • Anxiety and shame that lurking in my future is diabetes, heart disease, & more arthritis--sayanara to sleep apnea, stress incontinence, eczema
And I want to make these things part of my present:
  • Live as a food snob--eating the variety of fresh fruits & vegetables & other healthy foods that I love in the variety of ways that I enjoy them
  • Go on active vacations--ride bikes in the woods and along the coast; ride a horse, get in a canoe, hike to see wildflowers and birds, snorkel; squat to take pictures
  • Wear well-tailored clothes
  • Be a ready-to-get-up-because-I-have-many-cool-things-to-do morning person
  • Get down on floor to play with my dog and grandkids kind of 45+ year old
  • Feel positive, light, lean, & long
  • Feeling proud that I am using my creativity, appreciating my body and caring for it, and presenting myself with unabashed enthusiasm and confidence


  1. What a great idea laying it all out like this.
    I just may have do the same in my journal.
    Thanks for sharing it.


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