Week #5: My Goals for the First 10 Weeks of 2010

Week #5 for My Goals for the First 10 Weeks of 2010

Wow! I realize we are half way through the timespan on Steve's Perfect 10 Challenge, which is a 10 week challenge to make progress on 10 goals. The guidelines include updating every Friday on how you're doing. I'm late this week. . . but here are my goals and my status.

1. Plan out my weekly menu in advance and preferably use it to grocery shop (weekly menu comes from new Eating Well Diet cookbook or site, SparkPeople, Weight Watchers, or other healthy meals); meals should equal ~1500 calories a day
• How I did: I failed to plan this week in advance. Didn't shop until Tuesday and was left floundering. It led to my epiphany about how necessary meal plans are to me.
2. 
   Use one weekend day (or an weekday evening night) to cook ahead--soups for lunches, veggies for the week, and perhaps 1 dinner entree.
• How I did: Early in the week I did make a cabbage roll casserole (no rolls just the ingredient). It was good and provided dinner one night and 2 lunches. 
3.  Plan 2 nights a week where dinner is easy--like hummus & veggies, a vegggie burger or other quick sandwich
• How I did: As mentioned the planning was close to the event. We did have baked potatoes with steamed broccoli and a slice of Swiss cheese torn to melt on it. Tasty! Our stand by fast meal has been whole wheat pasta with jarred sauce--some mushrooms thrown in. Another night we boiled some froze perogies and ate them with sauteed mushrooms, onions, & spinach.
4. Pack my lunches most days and eat the lunch I packed.
• How I did: I'm proud to say I made this work despite my lack of initial planning. One day I even ate my back up emergency can of soup on my desk..
5. Get up 4-6 days a week with Hubby to swim at the gym, and keep increasing the intensity each week. [Modified week 2 to be get up to do cardio--but not necessarily swim]
• How I did: We swam on Tuesday AM after doing an elliptcal workout (Treadmill for Hubby). It felt divine. That was the only day we swam. (Plan to get to the pool tomorrow). But we were at the gym every morning except Weds.
6. Learn the breast stroke.
• How I did: Practiced on this this week--on Sat. & Tues.
7. Work out with Hubby & trainer two times a week
• How I did: Our second week with 3 sessions. Worked out with Trainer Ray on Monday, Thursday, and Friday. (The woman who trained with us last week and who was supposed to keep joining us was MIA all this week.)
8. Ride the recumbant bike at least 2x a week and increase time at least every two weeks
• How I did: No bike this week since the elliptical burns more calories.
9. Start going to church with Hubby and actively look for friends
• How I did: Didn't go to church last Sunday but looked at start times and made a plan to go tomorrw.
10. Make a point to be aware of and challenge negative thinking
• How I did: Not a good week for me. Had a rough hormonal time that didn't ease up until about Thursday. Still, made the decision to only weigh every other week (which was in response to very negative thinking about the scale) and redirected my focus about meal planning. So I think this is good.

Another Thrilling Secret About Me

Until I stayed at a friend's house in Cape Cod, my only experience with outdoor showers was with showers on the beach in Pensacola. Those showers were thin poles erected in about a 5 x 5 block of concrete, covered with a layer of wet sand. Their purpose was to attempt to wash the sand off you before going to your car. That was practically impossible, given that you had to walk through sand (or sand covered sidewalks) directly after showering. And I remember my mom wanting me and my sister to go ahead and strip to get the sand off us and step into clean shorts--long after I had the innocent obliviousness about being naked in public. Given that experience, I didn't understand all the hoo ha of the New Englanders/Cape Cod lovers who went on and on about outdoor showers on the Cape. Until I took one.

Those Cape showers weren't on the beach. At our friend's, it was a shower in the backyard of a plain little 3 bedroom house ~2 blocks from the beach. It looked simple enough--a shower head coming out of the back of the house. A small concrete pad with a drain. But it was private. The concrete surrounded by wooden walls. A handy soap dish hanging on the inside. You stepped out of the sliding glass doors, walked on some concrete stepping stones to the shower--in your robe.

And then you took your shower--all naked, but sheltered, looking up at the blue sky above and the leaves. And even threads of a spider web in the corner above. The breeze rustled against your skin. It was amazingly refreshing. Once was all I needed to long for an outdoor shower of my own. GA would be the perfect place for one since it's warm so much of the year. Imagine showering outdoors on an August night under the stars, hearing the crickets. Heavenly.

There's a great Bailey White story about her Mama taking a bath on the front porch and trying to stay immobilized so she wouldn't be noticed when hundreds of bikers come out of the woods on a country tour. We don't live in deep enough conntry to have a tub on the porch! (Our Homeowner's Assn would likely freak out!) But the idea always appealed to me. Bathing on the porch with hanging pots nearby and the sound of wind chimes along with birds singing. Doesn't it seem romantic?

Meal Planning Epiphany

One of my goals since the first of the year has been to plan meals for the week over the weekend and shop accordingly. I have this extra large sticky memo pad with a weekly calendar on it that I write my planned meals on and stick it on the fridge. Hi tech.

Last weekend I didn't plan out my meals. It's not the first time I haven't done this when I said I would. But it is the first time this year with my rekindled enthusiasm and focus and time back in the gym working with Trainer Ray and Hubby.

At the beginning of the week I felt the usual self pity and self hatred and annoyance for not planning. I managed to eat my typical lunches and did OK on dinners. .  but I threw in a few random and a tad over-the-top snacks (like I'd make a smoothie--an ok snack--but I'd toss in just a bit of coconut and just a few peanuts and a healthy, unmeasured pour of chocolate malt--to turn it into a not OK snack.)

Then yesterday--Wednesday--it finally hit me. Moving through the week without a meal plan is like me trying to find my way around without my GPS. You may not know this about me, but I am hopeless when it comes to having a natural sense of direction. I just get more and more lost and more and more panicked. I recently got lost--with my GPS on. I knew it was taking me the wrong way because I was heading away from town. But I also knew that eventually it would correct itself and turn me around. I called into work saying I was running late from my appointment. And I said to a colleague, "Do you know the difference between me getting lost with a GPS versus me getting lost without a GPS?"

"What?" she said.

And I said, "With a GPS, I'm not crying."

And so it goes with a meal plan, my map for the week. I feel uncomfortable many times with my size and my eating desires and habits. I feel this discomfort sometimes even when I am trying very hard to eat the healthy way. But a meal plan puts me on track. It's the difference between whirling around corners anchored to the rails of a roller coaster and whirling around the corner in an out-of-control car. In both cases, you might have the same physical reaction--a quick sense of heat, the rise of hair on your arms and neck, an involuntary squeal--but in one instance you feel out of control and in danger, unsure of what will happen next--and fast. And in the other case, you are safely tethered; you know you will follow the rails around the next corner and up and down the upcoming hills, feeling your stomach lurch and the angst rise--and just when you feel afraid, you remind yourself that you're on a track, so you can just relax through the sensations and thrill and experience the ride.

And that is how my meal plan works for me. When I feel out of control or angst ridden, unsure of myself, I can look to my meal plan--the steady path that will lead me to a calm end of the week. So I can exit it delighted, sure footed, and anxious to race to the beginning all over again.

Creating my meal plan isn't a chore, it's a gift, functioning like a safety net, a set of dance steps on the ground, a sheet of music, allowing me to progress gracefully without too many misteps or dischords until I am skilled enough to solo, and finally to improvise.

Some TLC About Weighing

One my most long-term friends sent me an e-mail recently that gave me a lot to think about in terms of the scale. I gave myself a week to consider it, and I've decided. I am only going to weigh every other week. I'm timing the weigh ins based on my hormonal cycle. . . this week I showed another gain, so I'm one week losing, one week gaining, one week losing, one week gaining. . .I find this hard to, um,stomach given my efforts. I think this plan will take some of the stress away and allow me to give some improved attention to those NSV--non scale victories--like working out with a trainer, jogging, swimming, lying in bed in the morning and feeling like my stomach is flatter, and having people tell me I'm looking good!

Here are my friend's--Ms TLC's--words. I think you'll find her pretty damn smart. . .

WHY ARE YOU WEIGHING YOURSELF?


Here are some POSSIBLE reasons.

You’ve set a particular weight goal for the year, and you’re trying to do the math to meet that goal. SILLY RABBIT! I frickin’ LOVE math, but even I don’t count on BODY WEIGHT/CALORIE/EXERCISE math! As your weight goes down, your caloric needs go down, so you’re always going to be chasing a prize that gives diminishing returns. 100 pounds in a year does indeed mean 8.33 pounds a month, on average, but some months will have to be over that average to counterbalance those months with fewer pounds lost. So, if weighing yourself motivates you to step it up, it’s worth doing. That’s not what I’m reading, though.

You don’t trust your body to let you know that your new habits are good for you. Don’t you think your clothes will get looser? Don’t you think the mirror will show less roundness? Don’t you think you’ll sleep better, move better, digest better, think better? I mean, you’re the one who told me about research that shows people who even THINK about losing weight show improvements in health measures. One weekly measurement to sum up the success of many, many daily choices you make for health seems self-defeating.

You think life is fair. So, everyone who studies 2 hours a night will make the same score on a test. Everyone who works 50 hours a week at the same job will earn the same salary. No. Just no. Some people have to work harder, and still won’t get the same results. Sure, it stinks, but there are lots and lots of things that come easily to you while other people struggle. Life’s not fair, but it’s worthwhile.

You’re ignoring measurement error. It could well be that cutting 3500 calories equates to losing a pound, but what happens if you weigh yourself, drink a gallon of NO CALORIE water, and then get on the scales again? I’m pretty sure you’d weigh more.

You think you can control OUTCOMES. I think of it more as a probability problem. If I move more and eat less, there’s a good likelihood that my body will be smaller. And this becomes even more likely the more often I repeat the behavior. It seems we have more control over the behaviors than the results, but the results will come. Do you give up saving money for a vacation because your furnace goes out? No, you take the hit, pay to fix the furnace, and maybe delay your vacation a bit.

You buy into other people’s fixation on weight as a measurement of success or health or worthiness or dedication. Your IQ, your salary, your age, your blood pressure—none of these numbers define you. Do they? Does your weight? Are there not other measures of the success of your plan?


WHAT IF YOU STAYED OFF THE SCALE FOR A MONTH? OR SIX MONTHS?
What would that change? If you didn’t check your bank balance for six months, would you go on some sort of spending spree? Some people might—they need the feedback to keep their shopping (or eating, for the weighers) in check. I bet you don’t need that financial feedback, and I doubt if you need the weight feedback.

If you’re not able to use the scale’s feedback to motivate yourself, maybe you need another tool. You could make a big wall calendar and put stars on it for your successes: red star = 2 minutes on elliptical; blue star = 5 minutes swimming; green star = packed lunch, etc. You could get a Flip video (I have one I carry daily) to take quick videos of your meals to record them later, or to tape a motivational talk to yourself to play back just before eating, etc etc. (I haven’t done these things yet, but I might.)
Lately, I keep coming back this image to when I’m discouraged about my progress, whether with eating, exercise, social interaction, intellectual pursuits, or whatever:

Dawn is coming earlier, and dusk is coming later. It’s barely perceptible, because we only get two or three minutes more of light each day, but by June we’ll have after a week, you can notice that it’s not dark when you leave work. Little changes add up to real differences. Noticing the little changes, commenting on them, and building them into your life can make things dramatically different.

I’ve stopped waking up in the morning and groaning because it’s still dark, or being pissed because I leave work in the dark. It won’t always be dark. The light will come. It’s coming now, but you have to look for it.

Week #4 for My Goals for the First 10 Weeks of 2010

Week #4 for My Goals for the First 10 Weeks of 2010

I'm following Steve's Perfect 10 Challenge, which is a 10 week challenge to make progress on 10 goals. The guidelines include updating every Friday on how you're doing. Here are my goals and my status.

1. Plan out my weekly menu in advance and preferably use it to grocery shop (weekly menu comes from new Eating Well Diet cookbook or site, SparkPeople, Weight Watchers, or other healthy meals); meals should equal ~1500 calories a day
• How I did: Just like last week--planned better than I was able to follow through. Planning meals for Hubby to cook before I get home hasn't worked well since we've both been busy. . .so this week, I'm going to try even harder to plan for really quick, almost no-tmie meals that still feel satisfying.
2. Use one weekend day (or an weekday evening night) to cook ahead--soups for lunches, veggies for the week, and perhaps 1 dinner entree.
• How I did: Made the tofu dish I talked about earlier as well as Meditterranean barley salad. Good stuff. Also BBQ's some chicken thighs. And my step daughter cooked ahead some sesame green beans for me.
  
   Plan 2 nights a week where dinner is easy--like hummus & veggies, a vegggie burger or other quick sandwich
• How I did: Had precooked chicken thighs & green beans one night. Had pasta with pesto & some veggies another night. Not bad.
  Pack my lunches most days and eat the lunch I packed.
• How I did: Success! Did partake in one free lunch but limited myself to the Thai veggies and a few pieces of California roll.
  Get up 4-6 days a week with Hubby to swim at the gym, and keep increasing the intensity each week. [Modified week 2 to be get up to do cardio--but not necessarily swim]
• How I did: On Sat. I got up and went to the gym before it even opened! But I went back in the PM and did the elliptical and swam. On Monday, met with Trainer Ray and did elliptical, Tuesday: elliptical and swam :) ; Weds. Elliptical; Thurs. Trainer Ray; Friday, Trainer Ray
  Learn the breast stroke.
• How I did: Practiced on this this week--on Sat. & Tues. But I plan to go to the pool on Sat.
  Work out with Hubby & trainer two times a week
• How I did: FANTASTIC! See above. We started pir 3rd session this week .
3. Ride the recumbant bike at least 2x a week and increase time at least every two weeks
• How I did: I actually can't recall if I did this on Sat. or Mon., but I don't think I did. But I feel OK about it because when I mde the goal, I didn't realize I'd be able to do elliptical.
  Start going to church with Hubby and actively look for friends
• How I did: Didn't go to church on Sunday because we had company. Batting 0 on this one. But I did chat with a woman at the gym who is now going to be training with us with Ray 2x a week. So maybe I'll get a friend.
4. Make a point to be aware of and challenge negative thinking
• How I did: Had one morning where I was irked with Hubby and added a peanut butter & jelly sandwich to my cereal, but I cut back on the cereal as I noted to myself that it was a stress response. Still working through some challenges with thinking about the scale--more on that this weekend.

Another Thrilling Secret About Me
As a kid and through most of my adulthood, I've never been physical. I remember in 2nd grade that the gym teacher gave me a volleyball to use instead of a basketball because it was lighter--and feeling ashamed by it (Looking backI think the was trying to help me .) I begged my mom to write me gym excuses in 6th grade because I'd never played T-ball and was ashamed. By 7th grade, I'd changed school systems and was stunned and overwhelmed when we had a more reasonable sized class (6 girls on the side of the volleyball net, instead of 60). I hated, hated, hated gym. It was the first class I got a "C" in. I cried regularly. I even cried playing croquet with my family or bowling. I quit band when marching band started because of the physical activity. (and Band had been my favorite thing) I had no physical self confidence. I even chose my major in college to avoid having to take PE credits. Besides walking, I don't think I did anything physical until I got married. My husband helped me get over the crying while bowling. I finally realized no one was looking at me. I learned to laugh at myself. I started doing weight training about 9 years ago because my knee hurt so bad. A trainer saw me come in faithfully and approached me, I have no idea what made me say yes--it was like a a whole new world for me. I've been to several trainers off and on since then, but this is the first time in a long time that I felt this enthused and comfortable and ready to explore this new world.

This Morning I JOGGED!!!!

This morning at the gym with Trainer Ray, we were doing some light weight sets and then Ray had us walk around this indoor basketball court. It was me and Hubby and a woman who is joining us--I'll call her A.M.

We'd do a set of of say 15 bicep curls and then walk a loop around the gym. We do 3 sets, so I think we'd walked about 4 times. Then Ray said, Ok, now "Jog." We all 3 just looked at him, and nearly simultaneously we all offered a reason we couldn't. . . (mine involved fear that I'd leave a trail. . . I'll let you fill in the details)

He just shook his hand and made a circular motion with his finger. So off we went.

I led.

And I stayed in the lead.

I wasn't moving fast, but it was more than a walk. And I kept it up.

For the next round too. Nothing bad happened.

Then we went back to walking.

It was the first time I've jogged since crying for the train to wait for me in Boston.

It was amazing.

I came into work and told my boss (and the person who was sitting in his office because I just couldn't contain my excitement.). They told me I should pin a sign on myself: "Today I jogged."

I don't think they get it. But they could see I was enthusiastic. It's a monumental day.

Leftover Tofu--Better Than the First Time

This past weekend, my stepdaughter, Bel, and her family spent the weekend with us. Bel has been a vegetarian, I think less than year. So this weekend we shared the tasks in preparing a tofu dish. Neither of us has much experience with it.

I found a recipe in Eating Well's Diet cookbook for Tofu with Peanut-Ginger Sauce, and we followed it. But then I made the adaptions that Bel and I discussed when I brought it as a leftover for lunch. And I have to say, our ideas really improved it!

The original called for regular rice vinegar--we changed to pepper flavored and we changed creamy peanut butter to crunchy. Because Bel doesn't love mushrooms like I do, we halved the amount and added some water chestnuts instead. Now I have to say that I would prefer the mushrooms, but what we discovered with the chestnuts was that we liked the variety of textures--some C-R-U-N-C-H in the midst of all the soft.

And liking that was how we came up with our other ideas for adaptation: Before serving, add shredded carrots & diced red peppers. We also discussed adding diced cucumbers. Today, when I brought the leftovers, I added the carrots, some diced cucumbers, and some cilantro. YUM YUM. Sooo much more flavorful. I dubbed our version Tofu Pad Thai (Noodle Free) and I shared it on Spark People. Anyone know how to edit a recipe on it (I'd like to add the tip about the cucumber and cilantro.)

Moments When Life Stands Still

A few years ago a credible medical study showed that exercising extends life--by exactly the same number of minutes spent exercising. I remember the comments about the study included, "so you better exercise doing somthing you like.. . ."

The way I figure it, if the Fates had been kind, they would have made it so that when you exercised, time just paused. That way there could never be a time you could say, "I don't have time to exercise." When you were exercising, you wouldn't have to worry about getting to work on time, or getting home to cook dinner, or hurrying to exercise before the rain. Instead when you were working out, time would stand still. You could do something good for your body and then just re-enter life at the exact place you left it.

But since that's not the case, and wishing doesn't help, I've been taking time to exercise. Llucky for me, every now and then I have a moment when time stands still, when I don't feel any pressure to be anywhere else and where I am just focused on how relaxed I am in mind & body in the moment. The best moment like that for me is when I've done some cardio and then am in the pool and swum a few laps. Then I just let my body float up so I'm lying on my back, and I extend my arms, and I just float, looking up at the ceiling and through the skylights to the clouds, rain drops, or clear skies.

And time hasn't stopped, but I still feel good. 

Do you have moments like that?