Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Tribute to Those Born May 26

  • Al Jolson, 1886, known for singing in black face

    Dorthea Lange, 1895, photographer, known for her photos during the depression

John Wayne, 1907, The Duke, OK. . . maybe he's not dichotomous. . .but definitely noteworthy!

Miles Davis, 1926





  • Jack Kevorkian, 1928, known for euthanasia enthusiam
  • Brent Musberger, 1939, sports commentator for ABC (ssshhhh. . . don't tell Hubby! He hates Brent Musberger because he is often commentator of Ohio State football games and hubby thinks he is biased against the bucks!
  • James Arness, 1923, also not dichotomous as far as I know, but I had to put him here and out of chronology to make up for Mush Mouth to Hubby (he met James Arness so he has a soft spot for him)
  • Stevie Nicks, 1948, best known for being part of Fleetwood Mac






  • Me, 1963

    Gemini Information for May 26

You should embrace: Comfort, conversations with yourself, solitude

You should avoid: Pragmatism, estrangement from friends, self-pity

  • Lenny Kravitz, 1964, ; I liked this version better, but it wouldn't allow download:
    And I admit, I am not cool enough to have really known this song. I just stumbled over it and liked its attitude.



  • Helena Bonham Carter, 1966
  • My niece, 1983 (born 20 years and 2 min after me)

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Green Bean Salad & Sneaker Vote

Here's a tasty salad I made for my lunch yesterday. I modified the recipe from the back page of June's Real Simple magazine.

Steam green beans
Fry a few slices bacon
remove bacon and excess grease, add sliced shallot and minced garlic with a bit of olive oil
pour shallots and minced garlic on green beans
crumble bacon
add halved grape tomatos
add chopped fresh rosemary and grated pepper

Delish!

Question for other fat walkers or those with problem feet: What are your favorite brand of sneakers? And do you add arch supports? Do you pronate? My feet hurt where the toes connect to my foot--wiggling my toes hurts. I think it may be from wearing sandals. . . a doctor told me once they don't support your feet as well.




Sunday, May 17, 2009

Restaurant of the Future Personally Applied--It IS All About Me, Right?

I was listening to NPR this morning and heard a story about The Restaurant of the Future (insert the DUN DUN sound from Law & Order here). Have you heard about this?

It's a restaurant turned lab; and diners are the rats. Scientists in an adjoining room dubbed Big Brother Room 1 (read 1984 if the reference is lost on you) monitor such data as:

  • How much consumers weigh: a black rubber scale at one of the cash registers unobtrusively weighs diners.
  • What diners choose to eat (and how that varies based on their dining companions)
  • How much food they throw away
  • Their facial expressions as they eat
  • How factors like light and smell and noise affect their eating

And I found these little additional details in NYT article about the place:

  • Chairs can monitor the heart rate of diners
  • Chewing and swallowing rates can be monitored

The Restaurant of the Future states several objectives. And I'm sure some of their results will be for good--like helping us learn about how we make healthier choices, and some will be for ill--like helping a fattening restaurant or food producer ensure that we keep scarfing down their brand.

So while I clearly find all this fascinating, my real wonder is, if I really paid attention, how much could I discover about myself? For someone who has been dubbed "overly sensitive" my whole life, someone who is considered by others and considered by myself to be very compassionate and full of empathy, it's amazing to me when I have it called to my attention how truly unaware I am of what's happening to me inside and sometimes even duh, to the outside. [In my personal story, this is where the DUN DUN music of Law & Order gets inserted.]

This is one of the things that made Weight Watchers Core program less than appealing and a bit frightening to me--that so much depended on paying attention to your level of fullness and stopping at the appropriate time.

In the research on the healthy eating habits of people in Japan that is also the secret--they only continue to eat until they are 80% full. This concept was so alien to me that I think the first time I heard it I actually laughed rather than saying AHA! The answer I've been seeking!

So if I could zoom in, turn on, and scientifically analyze my own dining habits, what do I think would be most important to study?

  • How many more unhealthy things do I truly eat around my mother?
  • How slowing down to eat would affect how much I consume?
  • Whether eating 1/2 size my normal portions on a side dish size plate instead of a big dinner one would cause me melt in a puddle of tears, lead me to rip the cabinets open in a fit of self pity or hunger or rage an hour later, or send me to bed feeling nutritiously self righteous, smug, and perhaps dreaming of breakfast?
  • And if videotaped myself eating (which I have no equipment to do that btw), would I cry? Wake up? I think it would be worth to try to step out of myself and look down on myself as my own big brother and focus for just long enough to collect some scientific data to analyze logically and without emotion or bias.

What would you study about yourself?


This video from the restaurant itself gives more scientific detail--check it out.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Woo Hoo! I Got an Award!




My first ever blog award from Kelly/September Mom at My Voice, My View.

I'm supposed to pick 15 others to get the award. Here they are:

1. Gigi at http://chunkymonkeymama.blogspot.com She's been a great support to me and I want to give her a pretty thank you note.

2. Jack at http://jackfit.blogspot.com because I want to add a little yin to the yang award on his site now (and I think he's macho enough to handle the frills)

3. Souporsoprano at C'est La Vie because she's a bella

4. Lynn at Hungry Little Catepillar--where ya been, Lynn?

5. Lynn at http://lynnsweigh.blogspot.com because she is my hero.

6. Maria at Gardening with Turtles because her photos and her artwork and her stories are all simply beautiful

7. Mountain Woman at Red Pine Mountain--another site with beautiful photos and sentiments

8. SiSi at My Craft Thingies she's just starting out and has some cute step by step crafts

9. My new friend at http://chocolatecovereddaydreams.blogspot.com because she has a beautiful heart

10. Maria Rose at Little Things Are Big because she sees the beautiful side of everything

11. The mom to be at Hot Belly Mama another woman with rose colored glasses

12. Brenda at Rinkly Rimes a delightful site

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Is Fat a Choice?

Maybe you haven't noticed, but I haven't been blogging much about eating or exercising lately. This is not a good sign. Like my Gemini self, I have been divided about this blog thing and my weight life in general since I started this. I get mad that all I do is write about not doing what I set out to do--who wants to hear that? I get frustrated that my whole fricking life has circled around my emotional crisis of not doing the same thing--exercise, eat right, give a crap. I look for other blogs to focus on so I won't be so limited in my scope. . . I end up with no one who can relate to me.

In a few weeks, I will turn 46. . . another year gone by with no personal progress. In fact, I think I'm more down than I was.

I've been really bothered by something I read on Stages of Change recently. His post says being fat is a choice. I find this hard to. . . umm. . . swallow. I am not saying that I don't I have a role in being fat. I certainly overeat and I've returned to a sedentary life. But you know, there are plenty of other people out there who overeat and are sedentary who are not obese. OK, so I have a genetic tendency--gives me all the more reason to eat right and exercise--right?

I just don't think it's all figured out yet. Everyone makes it sounds like there are basically 2 components, but I think there's an unidentified X and maybe also a Y.

I have above average intelligence. I've accomplished a lot of things in my life. By most accounts, I'm successful. I'm compassionate. I have perseverance. I've been fat since I was 7 years old. Even when I lost 60 lbs and kept it off for 6 years, and worked with a trainer 3 times a week,, and saw a counselor, I was still shopping in the plus department.

Maybe Fat is something I choose. . . I have never really believed the existing weight loss programs would work for me. So I don't have a huge history of trying diets. I've basically tried 3 things. . . a kind of Atkins when I was in high school (lost 35 lbs and started gaining it back instantly); counting calories in college (1000 a day--lost ~35 lbs and kept it off a while--was the only time I briefly shopped out of the plus sizes), and Weight Watchers, again and again and again and again.


They say the sign of insanity is trying the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Of course, I've tried to shake WW up a bit. I added exercise. I added a trainer. I added a counselor. I added antidepressants.

I never thought weight loss surgery would work for me--how would that change my brain? I never thought liquid diets or packaged food would do it for me--what would that teach me? Except I'm sure it would be easier to move my body if there were less of it to move. And I guess I've always believed that being fat is my fault enough that pills didn't appeal.

Maybe I do choose to be fat because something in my brain says fuck it.

Maybe I do choose to be Fat because even though I fear having a heart attack one day when I'm just standing still (I told my doc boss this week that if I had a heart attack I hope it took me out because I couldn't stand the humiliation), it doesn't spur me. Even though I feel like I'm just sitting waiting to be shot at with the diagnosis of diabetes, and even though I think, Will that do it for me? Will that make any difference? Would that be the click? or would I just slink away in self pity and watch myself get bigger and bigger, deeper and deeper in the muck so blue sky is unreachable?

All these articles and people talk about being healthy to live longer and I think, what is the point? I don't have children. My husband is older. I don't do anything but work. Who wants to live longer to spend the evenings to watch TV or read one more book?

I wanted to travel, but then went on a few trips and felt like it wasn't all that it was cracked up to be. Hubby isn't keen on traveling. Of course there are people I love and who love me, but no one who needs or depends on me that I need to sustain myself for. I don't believe in an after life.

Plus, as I get older, I realize more and more things I thought I wanted really aren't practical anymore--I've tried taking piano lessons (at 41), but it seems unlikely I'll ever really play. I sucked worse at trying the guitar. I've always wanted to write fiction. . . but I only have one completed short story to my name (unpublished). I think it's too late to really learn another language, and to do it, I'd need to travel (see above).

I think of myself as a friendly and outgoing person, but I basically have no friends (no one nearby or that I talk to frequently).

So maybe I do choose to be fat. Maybe being fat keeps me from trying one more thing that I realize wasn't as neat as I thought it would be. Maybe being fat gives me a reason for why people don't want to be around me instead of something more painful for me to take. (Like I'm boring and lazy and overall pathetic and too loud and outspoken and just plain out of sync with the modern world.)

I must be choosing to be fat because ever fricking morning my alarm goes off at 6 and I lie there hating myself. Saying get the fuck up and walk. And it rarely happens.

I must choose this ever single fucking day because even though I really like fresh foods--tomatoes and balsamic and portabello mushrooms and asparagus. . . I let food rot in the fridge and order pizza.

I used to have a cross stitched sign in my room that said Life is not a series of chance but a series of choices. Stages of change is probably right; I probably am choosing this.

The question is why? Why the hell would anyone choose this? And how the hell do I force myself to make another choice? Or is the easier choice to just stop letting fat be the focus on my life? Just give up and coast down hill until genetics and survival of the fittest takes its natural toll?

Monday, May 4, 2009

Herman & Sally: A Classic Case of Intolerance

(CLICK ON THE PARALLEL LINES AT THE TOP RIGHT--THE PAUSE BUTTON--IN THE GREEN RADIO BOX TO STOP USUAL BACKGROUND MUSIC)

Smothers Brothers - Crabs Walk Sideways

[via FoxyTunes / The Smothers Brothers]


Sunday, May 3, 2009

Laughing Through Depression





This photo was taken in 1940--during the Depression (1935 to 1945) by photographer Jack Delano. The couple is Mr. & Mrs. Andrew Lyman, Polish tobacco farmers near Windsor Locks Connecticut.