I'm feeling good. And I feel so good that I'm feeling good. But I have to say I'm working hard to just HOLD MY HEAD up in several ways.
#1: Holding My Head Up to BREATHE
First, I'm working on learning a new swimming stroke. The only "real" strokes I can do are the freestyle and the backstroke. I also do 2 fake strokes (kind of like the Fake song books for the piano I guess)--what I call the "frog" back stroke and the side stroke. So I'm trying to teach myself how to do the breast stroke (which, admittedly, in my mind I was calling the breath stroke, and which frankly, I think would be a better name for it!)
So I'm reading about it in a book I have and I found these 2 great videos.
#2: Holding My Head Up to Stay Awake
Ok, so Hubby and I have been setting the alarm for 6 AM and getting up to go swim. I know from previous experiences that when you first start exercising that it initially it makes you TIRED. Eventually, I know it will turn around, and the exercise will make me feel more ENERGIZED. But that hasn't happened yet.
As a result, I practically want to put my head down on my dinner plate! By 9:00, I'm like a baby who needs a nap but refuses to close her eyes. . . mean and disoriented! Last night I forced myself to stay up to cook Brussel Sprouts that were about to go bad and to dry and hang up a load of good clothes so I could wear something decent to work today. But I wasn't happy about it. (Sorry, Hubby for your suffering the last 2 nights from ~9:30 on. . . I promise I'll lengthen my fuse!).
#3: Holding My Head Up to Feel Proud!
This morning was the first time we'd been to the pool when there was more than one person in it before we arrived. Our pool has room for 4 lanes--usually only 2 are roped off, leaving an open 2-lane wide space that Hubby and I use for warming up with water aerobic moves before we swim. This morning, a guy was swimming in the 2nd lane and on one side of the 2-lane open side. Then a woman came in to swim in the first lane.
I have to say, it was easier and less embarrassing to jog around in the pool and do jumping jacks and use the water weights in a "lap" lane when I had Hubby with me. But I still kept wondering inside, "Do they think we are hogging a lane? Is that guy sharing our lane annoyed that we're doing this? Or are we bugging him?" Then, I'd counter myself saying, "Hey, we can't be bugging him anymore than he's bugging us. . . "
Surprisingly enough with all this noise going in, when the 2nd guy got out of the pool, he crossed by me and Hubby (we were near the steps) and said, "You're working hard!"
I said: "We're trying."
And he said, "No, you're not trying. Other people are trying. They're at home laying in bed trying. You're here and you're doing it! Don't sell yourself short!"
Use this moment to get focused. Take the steps you need to take to reclaim your body, your health, your life. It's the most important thing you'll do today because it's the foundation for everything else you want to do, everything else you want to be.
Do it today, because tomorrow will be here in less than a blink, and you don't want to be that person who looks back and wonders what they could have had, what they should have done, what they would have been.
Now is the time.
Choose long term happiness.
What I Say to Myself Each Day
You can do this. You have the power to control your response to the world.
Each day is a new opportunity to respond calmly, seek beauty, and appreciate the warmth in yourself and others.
Embrace your dreams. You have accomplished so much and have the potential to do all you desire.