Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Funny E-mail: Supposedly from High School Essays

Before I pass the full list on to the Word Mechanic for him to have his say about, I wanted to memorialize the ones I quite appreciated or that gave me a chuckle. (Thanks bobpsy!)

  • Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
  • His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
  • She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli, and he was room temperature Canadian beef.
  • She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
  • The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.
  • From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.
  • Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.
  • He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

1 comment:

  1. My husband is Canadian beef and I the colony of E.coli. Who knew? Funny post!


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