The fact is,
that to do anything in the world worth doing,
we must not stand back shivering
and thinking of the cold and danger,
but jump in and scramble through as well as we can.
Movin' On Sam Cooke (because I couldn't find Movin On by Gary Moore) and
Walkin By Myself Gary Moore (so you could hear some Gary Moore)
Wahh. . I Want to Swim. . .But I'm Movin' On
Thanks for all the support regarding my last blog but. . I don't know Miz. . . how can I feel better about not being able to do things if I don't change my size?
I'm putting my zoomer swim fins back in the suitcase so they aren't sitting by the front door to taunt me. And I'm moving away the folded colorful beach towels my friend left for us in the front room in the window seat. They are just bitter reminders of my plans to swim as much as possible here. I feel angry now looking down the slope to that damnably beautiful pool and annoyed with the in between lazy times now waiting for people to gather. I guess I need to do some mindful keening to get over it. So I can just move on. . .
I found today's inspirational quote in anticipation of swimming in the cold Sebastapol foggy mornings. SIGH.
Anxious Links to Home
While I've been here, I've had at least 3 anxiety dreams about work or my stupid weight.
One was about hubby insisting I go into office because he didn't think I'd set up my coverage properly. He dropped me off--we had to drive up an icy hill to get there, next to a woman on ice skates being pulled by a dog--and I was so early that I had to sit outside wearing a winter coat and gloves and hovering over a cup of coffee. I couldn't remember where I sat any more. . . of course it wasn't my real office or my real coworkers in the dream. . .but that's beside the point.
On the same night I had some dream about being stuck and unable to get through some really small doors. . .
Last night I dreamed that my favorite employee was really angry and mean and nasty to me, telling me what for before she quit. Argh.
I need to let my mind relax somehow.
Thinking About Exercise
And here I am in Sebastapol just thinking about exercise instead of doing it. We've done walking activities, like a lot of shopping. . . and that counts in Levine's world of Move a Little Lose a Lot but not much in the world of getting fit. . .
So I'm thinking about what I can do when I get home . . these are the options I've come up so far complete with the pros and cons. I'd appreciate your input. . .
Option 1: Do what I had planned to do before I left: get up and walk 2 mornings a week (with the dog), go swimming one morning in our subdivision pool (Hubby is the limiting factor because neither of us thinks I should go alone.), push push push myself to take a few walks at work in the afternoons, and walk some in the evenings, swimming one night, and swimming on the weekend mornings. This seems like it should be a good start, but is it pushing myself enough? (But then again to I expect strong arms in 2 weeks . . .?)
Option 2: Leave as soon as I get up and go to work and use the gym there to do weights and/or the treadmill, elliptical, or recumbent bike and then eat breakfast at my desk. Maybe see if my former trainer could fit me in. . . just don't know if I feel ready for training. . . The big down side of this is that it takes me away from home earlier and relieving Hubby from rambunctious Puppy Yeats in the AM.
Option 3: Leave as soon as I get up and go to the gym up the street from us to use the indoor pool there or the weights or cardio equipment. . . check on a different trainer maybe. . .I could either dress there and leave for work. . . or I could go back home to shower, dress, and eat there. This has the same issue with Hubby & Yeats.
Well, as I type this, the answer seems obviously #1. It's a good plan for the summer months left, starts with 2 types of exercise--walking & swimming. I can also add in weights at home and start gradually adding the gym. What do you think?
Part of the frustration is the lack of movement here in CA. We are visiting our granddaughter who is 2.5 and naps from about noon or 1 to at least 3. . . it really limits the day. At first, I didn't mind just hanging. . . enjoying the breezes. . .reading a bit. . .even snoozing. . . but now that the pool isn't an option I'm getting restless and pissed with myself for all the time sitting on my butt with this stupid computer on my lap. . .
The house here is beautiful, but it's just on a small gravel road that leads to a main road that isn't walkable. . . as I said before. . .I guess I just need to figure out how to let my mind relax. I have until we leave on Sunday for home. . .
And now to End with a Laugh. . . .Thinking about my Under-My-Desk Mini Exercise Bike